Monday, January 31, 2011

Roshi

With palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,



Soku Shin, Suki, and I just got back from a 2.6 mile desert hike. Suki did what Suki’s do, and gave chase to the myriad rabbits inhabiting the desert. Soku Shin did what Soku Shin’s do, talked with friend Caiti along the way. I did what I do, walked residing in my thoughts.



My thoughts are in a bit of a turmoil this morning. My Teacher who has always been a bit of a challenge for me, has sparked some conflict again. It has set me to wondering about the role of Teacher as we “advance” along the way. A friend recently asked me what being a “roshi” meant to me. I was taken aback by the question as I had never really given it much thought. He is in a position to have that honor bestowed upon him and he is concerned about it.



Rightly so.



I feel it is rather like when I finally was awarded a PhD and a license to practice independently as a clinical social worker. Oh my, big, deep breath. What are the expectations? Can I meet them? And on and on…



In America, this title has taken on too much weight, in my opinion. It simply means old teacher, but has morphed into Zen Master and beyond. I do not like pedestals.



Six years ago my Teacher gave me this honor (or burden, if you will). I feel as though I met the burden with a degree of grace and humility and lots of hard work. Over the years my Teacher and I have fought, cared for each other, and wrestled with a ton of issues. We had, I thought, reached a point where we saw each other as colleagues. Of late, though, given a few things, I am beginning to wonder if the title ought best be reconsidered.



If becoming a roshi is anything more than being a manifestation of Buddhanature, it cannot be correct. And if it is that, then all who practice deeply and sincerely are roshi. With such a realization, the title becomes meaningless.

Be well.

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