Good Morning All,
Ever wake up in the morning and wonder just what was going on? I have. Many, many times. Each time I open my eyes, actually, a new day with new possibilities presents itself. On some mornings the sensation is deeper, perhaps more profound, like a thud on my chest or a knock on my head. It cannot be ignored. This was one of those mornings.
A little background: As a child, no one in my family went to college. I dropped out of high school, enlisted, then was shot in the head in Vietnam. Over time, I finished high school, went to college and moved on. When I moved to Las Cruces from Cleveland, I was considered an expert in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I had completed my PhD dissertation at a premier university on the Meaning of Combat in Vietnam, traveled from coast to coast doing training seminars for psychologists, nurses, counselors, and social workers on PTSD, edited a clinical textbook on practice with difficult client populations, and just sold a rather large and successful human services corporation I had founded. Once here, I quickly rose to the position of head of outpatient operations at a local psychiatric hospital. From there, I became the head of mental health services for a school system. In short, I was quite used to being understood as the go-to guy for mental health issues, etc. I was used to being referred to as ‘the doctor.’ Very heady, full of myself crap, that life.
I left all of that to practice Zen. I went to a little known temple in the mountains, studied with a little known roshi who was the disciple of a little known Japanese Zen master, and was quite willing to let myself fall away.
Old habits die hard, though. Those who start from nothing, build. Starting from nothing, I re-established my teacher’s Zen Center. I left that to do street practice. I then established the Order of Clear Mind Zen. Again, building. Good grief, don’t I ever learn?
What I woke up to this morning was a profound truth. None of that matters. Not the PhD., the ordinations, the building, none of it. All that matters is whether I am awake in this very moment and as a result, how I am with you.
What we practice to do, is to do the best we can with what we have. If we sit still long enough, we realize we have the entire universe if we simply get out of our own way. What I am learning over and over and over again is that letting ourselves fall away is also an every moment practice.
Be well
Ever wake up in the morning and wonder just what was going on? I have. Many, many times. Each time I open my eyes, actually, a new day with new possibilities presents itself. On some mornings the sensation is deeper, perhaps more profound, like a thud on my chest or a knock on my head. It cannot be ignored. This was one of those mornings.
A little background: As a child, no one in my family went to college. I dropped out of high school, enlisted, then was shot in the head in Vietnam. Over time, I finished high school, went to college and moved on. When I moved to Las Cruces from Cleveland, I was considered an expert in Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. I had completed my PhD dissertation at a premier university on the Meaning of Combat in Vietnam, traveled from coast to coast doing training seminars for psychologists, nurses, counselors, and social workers on PTSD, edited a clinical textbook on practice with difficult client populations, and just sold a rather large and successful human services corporation I had founded. Once here, I quickly rose to the position of head of outpatient operations at a local psychiatric hospital. From there, I became the head of mental health services for a school system. In short, I was quite used to being understood as the go-to guy for mental health issues, etc. I was used to being referred to as ‘the doctor.’ Very heady, full of myself crap, that life.
I left all of that to practice Zen. I went to a little known temple in the mountains, studied with a little known roshi who was the disciple of a little known Japanese Zen master, and was quite willing to let myself fall away.
Old habits die hard, though. Those who start from nothing, build. Starting from nothing, I re-established my teacher’s Zen Center. I left that to do street practice. I then established the Order of Clear Mind Zen. Again, building. Good grief, don’t I ever learn?
What I woke up to this morning was a profound truth. None of that matters. Not the PhD., the ordinations, the building, none of it. All that matters is whether I am awake in this very moment and as a result, how I am with you.
What we practice to do, is to do the best we can with what we have. If we sit still long enough, we realize we have the entire universe if we simply get out of our own way. What I am learning over and over and over again is that letting ourselves fall away is also an every moment practice.
Be well
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