Thursday, February 24, 2011

On a personal level

With palms together,


Good Morning Everyone,

On a more personal level…

This is it. I am yielding to my body which apparently needs more sleep than it has been getting. I woke this morning at a startlingly late 7:30 AM. Ye gads! I even went to bed at a reasonable hour, about 9:30 or 10:00 PM. Something is happening. Maybe I am less anxious. Maybe I feel safer. It really doesn’t matter, the good thing is that I am sleeping and sleeping well.



We had a small T’ai Chi Chih group last night and a small Zazen group. I enjoy those smaller groups as they often feel far more intimate and meaningful. Our practice is aided by others, but only to a point. When the numbers get larger, the intimate quality is lost and one might as well be in a Wal-Mart.



The history of Buddhism seems to swing in two directions regarding Sangha. On one side there are stories of larger and larger followings, thousands of monks and dignitaries in attendance at teachings. On the other side, we have Zen teachers who reside in small places, parks, caves, huts, or small apartments, and from there bring the Dharma into the world. I have had the experience of addressing very large gatherings and of teaching in very small groups. There is no question, the large gatherings lead to an effort to be charismatic, whereas in the small gatherings our humanity, as teachers, has an opportunity to emerge. It seems to me, this is where the real teaching has an opportunity to be experienced, a teaching that flows in both directions.



I am not one for a lot of pomp and circumstance. I rarely wear the purple robe, often don’t wear the kesa, and mostly don my worn rakusu. I really do not like the koromo and mostly opt for samue. I do like our small temple with its apartment like feel: Zendo, bathroom, office, and kitchen. I cannot imagine being the sort of priest who has a large Sangha, who is flying here and there, and whose life is guided pretty much in every detail by a full calendar held close. Pressure to perform, to seek funding, to wow an audience? Good grief.



I want nothing to do with large organizations, with bureaucracy, with large and detailed policy and procedure manuals. To me this is contrary to the best of Zen whose heart is in the great matter and not on the material matter. Still, even small, local grassroots groups need money, need some policy, and need a willingness to practice together.





I think it is best just to go into the Zendo and open ourselves to the practice that is there before us to do.



Be well.

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