Open Societies

With palms together,
Good Morning All,

Mt alarm clock, in the form of furry friend, Tripper's tongue, woke me at 5:30 this morning. What does a dog know about weekends? So, I got up and made the coffee. Opened the laptop and began to read the morning mail.

A couple of messages from someone who thought I expelled them from my group went off on me. I had no idea what she was talking about. I rote her back asking her to explain herself. Some other messages from friends who were concerned about the issues I brought up in yesterdays note. I am sitting with those. And a lot of support for sharing my feelings. It is apparently very important that people who are perceived to be religious leaders be real and open with their experience. I believe this is true.

As a therapist, I was struck by the work of a psychologist who wrote a book called the Transparent Self. In this work, he talked about the notion that self-disclosure was essential at getting to the truth in an interview with a patient. Now, to some extent, our society has been riding on the self-disclosure wagon and everyone seems to be playing a game of king on the mountain as regards war stories. But this is not genuine self-disclosure.

Being open mean being willing to receive as well as give. To receive, one must be willing to set aside self and really listen to another. This means listening without processing an answer. It means self-disclosing for the sake of intimacy and closeness and thus is done judiciously and with purpose.

In Zen we self-disclose to acknowledge our realization of deep interconnectedness with each other. We learn that we are all one in the same beings, buddhas seeking to crack out of the shell of delusion.The light that shines forth from the disclosures of our struggles can be heart-warming.

The sharing of self in public or private is directly related in my opinion to the nature of the organization. The more rigid the organization and tighter the hierarchy, the less public disclosure and the more private disclosure (in the form of quiet gossip). The less rigid and more open the organization the higher the level of public disclosure and thus the more open the rancor. In very orthodox institutions there are very strict rules for deportment. Thus our need to disclose is forced underground so to speak. Restricted to small circles, gossip spends its time with coffee spoons. In more liberal and open institutions, roles and rules are more relaxed, everyone is seen as having validity and a voice and, well, there you have it: a room full of experts!

We hope in liberal settings that people will behave themselves. Most of the time they do. Frankly, I vote for open societies regardless, but is does mean we must learn how to be human together.

Be well.