Memory Me, Part Three of Self and Zen

With palms together,

Memory Me

Part Three of Self and Zen

My “self, then, is but a memory. This memory has awareness of itself and seeks to retain itself. The I AM seeking behavior of my body is purely a function of my brain. No brain, no self, no I AM. The most important point here is that the true nature of “self” is memory. Memory is never present moment. Memory is always a reflection.



Brain and memory work together, are one, but give the illusion of separateness. Memory is trace brain activity: footsteps in the sand. Memory is self, “I” is memory’s awareness of itself. This “awareness” gives labels to what it perceives through brain as parts. In the first and last, however, no actual “parts”” exist as parts from a whole.



Memory Me, that is, my “self” develops over time and through interactions of our sense organs. This development actually affects the physical structure of our brain. Brain and memory, recall, are one, not two. Interactive processes give rise, then, to shape. Use our brain one way, one shape develops. Use our brain in another way, another shape develops. These shapes are living, dynamic processes that have requirements for continued existence and growth.



These requirements take on a life of their own. Freud may have called them impulses. They are our “I Want” or “I Need” aspects of consciousness. Through interaction with parents, family, friends, teachers, and all other beings, we learn our requirements ar need boundaries and limits. Sometimes our needs and wants exceed the group’s expectations or norms. We are given messages that indicate we have run a red light. Our memories of these messages serve as monitors attempting to curtail our impulses. What we eventually come to call “ego” then acts as a director of operations. All three, “”I Want,” “I Shouldn’t” and “Director” are self-aware manifestations of Memory Me.



All are traces of sensory data stored in a brain that changes according to the needs of those traces. We, then, exist both because of and for the sake of these traces.



Zen practice burns away the gloss of those traces, exposes them for the transitory chimera they are, but does not deny their existence as they are. Memory Me is real and not real at once.



Memory Me has needs and like most organizations forgets its function and becomes quite self-serving. This will be the topic for tomorrow.