Home Again

With palms together,
Good Evening Sangha,

We arrived home a hour or so ago. It is very nice to be back in the desert southwest. We enjoyed our trip 'back east' but I confess, its not my favorite region. Way too many people, and even in the south, moving way too fast for me. I was good to hold and care for our grandson, though. We took care of him pretty much night and day for five days.

One of the things I do admire about the south, however, is the way people instill basic social manners in children. I held a door open for a young mother and children, for example, and mother was quickly to ask the child to say "thank you" by saying out loud behind her, "We say 'thank you,' darlin.'" People often addressed me with a respectful, "sir."

We have such manners among ranch folk out here, as well. But I'm afraid it seems to be a disappearing value. So accustomed we are to being addressed by our first name by total strangers. Many seem to feel comfortable using l obscenities at their leisure in public places

People feel no discomfort in calling homes late at night, intruding in private life with work whenever, and being rude and crude on the Internet. Anonymity loosens the tongue and the boundaries of civil discourse. Just as familiarity breeds the potential for contempt.

My life in the mountains over the last few years spoiled me to some degree, I suppose, or sheltered me some. I don't know. While there is a profound sense of general willingness to love among people, there is also a equally quick willingness to show a lack of patience and temper.

We need to work on this. All of us.

Be well.

Comments

jeff said…
Thank you. I think I know what you are saying about manners. manners are important for showing respect to people. I am not sure I am addressing you properly. Is calling you roshi correct? refering to you as "So" seems too informal but also friendly. what is correct?
Anonymous said…
Hello all sangha, welcome back Roshi. Having grown up in the south I understand what you're saying about manners. I was certainly raised to say thank you and please. And I fully understand the anger that can arise from the percieved improprieties of others. What i tend to do in these situatiuons is accept this is the person. This is how they choose to think and act. And I try to take solace in the fact they are showing me how not to act. And there are times I would just rather throttle them. But I try to counter that instinct with the understanding that trading negative behavior for negative behavior is a sure road to hell. It helps, but doesn't make it easier. Speaking for myself, it's an issue to still deal with, Guy
jeff said…
I know my manners suffer when I think I do not have enough time to do something. When I am hurrying I tend to bypass common courtesy in favor of efficiency. That is just dumb on my part because when I hurry I am not being very mindful.

This morning we awoke to a fresh covering of snow here in akron. it is april 5. and we are still getting snow in ohio. that is why my wife likes to dream of moving to new mexico. I have told her it is probably colder there. (northern new mexico) but she just remembers the warm sunny days and the endless views. I am an artist and have thought that I could maybe sell more art in the santa fe/taos area. at least there are more galleries there. maybe some day we will get to meet you in person. :)
Hello Jeff, Guy, All.
Refer to me as you wish. Sensei is the Japanese word for Teacher. Roshi is the title granted a Teacher when they get old :) It is a veneration of sorts, I suppose. It is also used as "Zen Master." Sodaiho (Priest Great Dharma) works fine, as well. Guy, you are so right about the work being a continuous process. All of us need help with that :)
Jeff there are many Zen Centers in northern New Mexico and the area is really beautiful. We lived in northern Summit county for sometime, near Brecksville. If you should move out west, I would be delighted to meet you.
Be well.

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